pit crew

I find that the number one question I’ve been asked after I reveal to someone that I’ve been going through a divorce is this:  Do you have people who are walking with you through this?  Do I ever have people…God has given me the most incredible “pit crew,” as I call them.  This incredible team of family and friends who have been there to service and fill me up with their compassion, prayers, and kindness.

Presence, prayers, listening, cards and notes of encouragement, gifts and getaways, space, and love.  So much love. 

Early on, I talked with our young adult children, and told them to identify their pit crew…that this will be a critical part for their journey and healing through grief.  I have been so grateful for the amazing humans God has placed in the lives of our family.  What an incredible blessing, a true lifeline.  I also mentioned to nh and sh that they in turn will be there in the future for someone else who is struggling due to the help they themselves received in a time of need and the gratitude they have for God’s provision of a pit crew. 

I know that the picture above may seem antithesis to the quote below, but there is a "both/and" to this beloved community.  It consists of both an active carrying of a friend and a quiet holding of a heart.    

From Henri J.M. Nouwen’s The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey:

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”